Tudor Caradoc-Davies could have been a contender. Actually that’s a lie. He either fought with the coach, ate the half time naartjies or wasn’t good enough. Usually the latter. Such is sporting life.

Though he’s now content with a sporadic game of touch rugby, a comfy chair, parkour and base jumping, Tudor’s played in such rugby hotspots as the German Bundesliga and Dar es Salaam, which left him convinced that he’s an authority on all sport.

He dreams of a day when football refs Tazer the Alice band wearing prima donnas, when fishing becomes a groupie sport and when his mom lets him change his name to Poen.

Tudor works in a high-rise as associate editor on Best Life magazine.

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